The Obama Justice Department announced today that the last gun had been "pryed from the cold, dead hand" of the last Second Amendment agitator. The miscreant was clutching a homophobic Bible in her other hand.
The United States, still reeling from defeat by China, is nuked by North Korea for good measure. Obama denies any connection to his disarmament policies.
US Supreme Court Switches Superior S African Constitution for USA's "slaveholders constitution". Court cites the precedent of The Untouchables film, in which juries were switched in the interest of justice. Justice Kennedy recused himself from 8-0 vote due to a slaveholding ancestor.
Millionaires Confiscation Tax extended to those "lucky enough" to earn $20,000 per year.
Supreme Court upholds mandatory welfare payments to all Americans
Border Fence Dismantled Due To Rust Pollution
Former State of Arizona Sealed Off
Obama Memorial Dedicated By President Obama
Obama Endorses Holder As Successor "The next time we happen to have an election".
Obama Issues Amnesty And Apology
Defense of Just Marriage Act Bans Non LGBT Unions
Times Square National Debt Clock Self Combusts
Obama Says New IRS Robin Hood Division Is "Not Socialism"
Under New GM Bailout Terms, Company To Be Owned By Chevy Volt Owners
New Coal Power Plant Climate Holocaust Museum Opens In D.C. Shivering Crowd Honors Victims
Marlins Manager Suspended For Quotes Admiring Reagan
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