As a result of the Mathews/Madow report of inquiry into the presence of Clint Eastwood at the Republican National Convention (dated August 31, 2012), The Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) and Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Science (AMPAS) stated that they have stripped Actor/Director Clint Eastwood of his Academy Awards and banned him from the motion picture industry for life. “As we evaluated the situation, the victims affected by Clint Eastwood and the efforts by many to conceal his appearance at the convention informed our actions,” said Danny Glover (AMPAS Minister of Doctrine and Compliance). “At our core, we are liberals. Clint Eastwood has lost sight of that.” Additional sanctions also include a four-year ban of any theatrical release of any movie starring, directed by, or produced by Clint Eastwood. After four years his pictures may be released with a XXX MPAA rating. He is also banned from any film festival or public appearance at motion picture related events.
The Wikipedia record of Eastwood’s career will be amended to remove all Oscar awards and nominations. In addition, the MPAA and MPAS reserve the right to impose additional sanctions on involved individuals at the conclusion of any further investigation. Mr. Eastwood clearly has knowledge of others in the industry sympathetic to the Republican Party, and we expect Mr. Eastwood to disclose those names immediately or he will be held in contempt of Liberalism. His disclosure of the political leanings of Mr. Jon Voight demonstrates a willingness on the part of Mr. Eastwood to cooperate. Mr. Voight is currently under investigation on similar charges.
Among the offenses that led to Mr. Eastwood’s sanctions:
•Mocking a sitting Democrat President by speaking to an empty chair.
•Mocking a sitting Democrat Vice President, by alleging that Biden was the brains of the administration.
•Traveling to an area densely populated by Republicans without prior disclosure to the MPAA or AMPAS.
•Speaking publically of President Obama in a manner inconsistent with Hollywood doctrine.
•Heresy
As a result, the MPAA imposed a $60 million sanction on the Mr. Eastwood’s production company, which is equivalent to the average gross annual revenue of his movies. These funds must be paid into an endowment for external programs preventing private gun ownership. Note: Some consideration is being made to potentially release Clint Eastwood films which are sympathetic to liberal causes like “Million Dollar Baby” which promotes euthanasia. In such a case, any proceeds for that film will go to the Hemlock Society. |
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