"Today is a big day in America. Only 36,000 people lost their jobs today, which is really good." ... Dingy Harry Reid !
"we have to pass the bill so you can find out what is in it !" ... Nancy Pelosi !
Never Forget
Jokes !
Friday, February 07, 2014
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and
saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was
heading straight towards his seat ... As fate would have it, she took the seat
right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "
Business trip or pleasure?" She turned, smiled and said, "" Business. I'm
going to the Annual Nympho- maniacs of America Convention in Boston ." He
swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next
to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to
maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this
convention?" " Lecturer," she responded. " I use information that I have
learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about
sexuality."
"Really?" he said. " And what kind of myths are
there?"
"Well," she explained," one popular myth is that African-American
men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American
Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that
Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are
the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina
is the Southern Redneck."
Suddenly the woman became a little
uncomfortable and blushed. " I'm sorry," she said, " I shouldn't really be
discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name..."
"Tonto,"
the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."
______________________________ A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his Mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The Mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his Mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?" The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it." "You're wasting your time," said the boy. "Why is that?" asked his Mom, puzzled. "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."
I Pledge Allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for
which it stands,
one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
The Second Amendment:
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
I do solemnly swear that I will
support and defend the Constitution of the United States
against all enemies, foreign and domestic;
that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same ...
~ Title 10, US Code ~
Let us pray...
Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" ! ...Benjamin Franklin
"Don't let anybody tell you that, you know, it's corporations and businesses that create jobs." ! ...Hitlery Klinton
"Give whites a pile of bricks and they'll make a city, give blacks a city and they'll make a pile of bricks"
Teach someone how to fish, and you lose a Democrat voter !
Never try to teach a liberal to think, It wastes your time and annoys the liberal !
Liberalism is a sick religion based solely on emotion and feelgoodism and wiping away their perceived guilt with other peoples money. It has never been based in thought and common sense !
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure.”... Clarence Darrow !
"We have to spend money to keep from going bankrupt" ...Joe Biden !
"We tax everything that moves and doesn’t move".... Hitlery Klinton !
"I do think there are certain times we should infringe on your freedom" ! .... Michael Bloomberg
"I never drink water because fish fuck in it".... W.C.Fields !
"Life's tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid...."
John Wayne !
"we are truly being governed by our inferiors, and in some cases criminals" ...Plato !
"Sure We Can Kill ISIS, But We’re Not Going To Get Suckered Into That ...John Kerry !
"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do".... !
"God have mercy on my enemies because I won't." ... George S. Patton !
!
"There is no worse foolishness than the truth in the mouth of a fool"... Don Colacho !
!
"If you take out the killings, Washington D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." ... Marion Barry
!
“When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.” ... Sir Winston Churchill !
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