The young blonde applied for a police job, and was being interviewed by the Police chief.
He showed her a mug shot on screen for 10 seconds, then asked her to describe the suspect.
She said, “He has only one eye, one ear and he uses contacts”
The chief shook his head and said “lady that was a side view of his face, so how can you say he has only one eye and one ear, but you are right he does wear contacts, so how did you figure that out”?
The blonde said “Duh that was easy, with only one ear how is he supposed to wear glasses”?
An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.
This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate.
I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.
Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."
No one moved.
The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood?
Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression."
Again, all was quiet.
Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew.
Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke,
"Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding, I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan.
I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."
The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.
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