Three very elderly ladies, Gertrude, Maude and Tilly were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the Park. The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat. Gertrude immediately had a stroke. Then Maude also had a stroke. But Tilly, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far. Bless her heart.
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you" She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive. "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: "#1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes!... I'm single.. and Catholic!" "OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley." The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child," says the nun, why are you crying?" "Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween Party."
In Shirley MacLaine's new book, the screwball and longtime friend of Dennis Kucinich makes an interesting claim: During a visit to her home in Washington state, Kucinich said he saw a UFO and heard messages from it.
"It hovered, soundless, for 10 minutes or so, and sped away with a speed he couldn't comprehend. He said he felt a connection in his heart and heard directions in his mind."
Although I would agree that a granola eating hippie like Dennis Kucinich needs all the help he can get in his presidential bid, people like this only enhance the Kucinich stereotype. He is absolutely nuts !
…Al Qaeda also has told us repeatedly that its goal is to reestablish the caliphate. Osama tells us to convert. Al Qaeda differs from Iran in that it doesn’t have a secure geographic and population base and in that it wants to create a homogenized Sunni caliphate while Iran seeks a Shiia-led Islamist empire. Al Qaeda uses terrorism directly, has sought WMD and already has initiated attacks in the United States, Spain, the United Kingdom, Indonesia and elsewhere. Plainly, if it gains control of Iraq, that country will become a secure base for launching terror operations around the world…
I was at the mall the other day eating at the food court. I noticed an old man watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange and blue.
The old man kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find the old man staring every time.
When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, “What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?”
The old man did not bat an eye in his response, “Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.”
Judy Barnes, a professional genealogical researcher, discovered that Hillary Clinton's great-great uncle, Remus Rodham, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana. He was hanged in 1889. The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture is this inscription: "Remus Rodham; horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1883, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889." Judy e-mailed Hillary Clinton @ NY.Gov for comments. Hillary's staff of professional image adjusters cropped Remus' picture, scanned it, enlarged the image, and edited it with image processing software, so that all that's seen is a head shot. The accompanying biographical sketch read as follows:"Remus Rodham was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."
Medal of Honor to be awarded to US Navy SEAL Lieutenant Michael Murphy !
Thursday, October 11, 2007
“Mikey was ignoring his wound and fighting like a SEAL officer should, uncompromising, steady, hard-eyed, and professional,” Luttrell wrote in his recently published book, Lone Survivor, about his military experiences, his team and the events of that day and the deaths of his teammates, his friends.
The fighting grew more intense, but the team pressed on in the close-quarters battle. At one point, Luttrell wrote, Murphy took his mobile phone, “walked to open ground. He walked until he was more or less in the center, gunfire all around him, and he sat on a small rock and began punching in the numbers to HQ.”
“I could hear him talking,” Luttrell wrote. “ ‘My men are taking heavy fire ... we’re getting picked apart. My guys are dying out here ... we need help.’
“And right then Mikey took a bullet straight in the back. I saw the blood spurt from his chest. He slumped forward, dropping his phone and his rifle. But then he braced himself, grabbed them both, sat upright again, and once more put the phone to his ear.
“ ‘Roger that, sir. Thank you,’ ” Luttrell heard Murphy say, before the lieutenant continued to train fire on the enemy fighters.
“Only I knew what Mikey had done. He’d understood we had only one realistic chance, and that was to call in help,” Luttrell wrote. “Knowing the risk, understanding the danger, in the full knowledge the phone call could cost him his life, Lieutenant Michael Patrick Murphy, son of Maureen, fiancé of the beautiful Heather, walked out into the firestorm.
“His objective was clear: to make one last valiant attempt to save his two teammates,” he wrote.
(2007-10-08) — House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-CA, today issued a formal apology on behalf of “all people of Italian ancestry for the devastation caused by Christopher Colombus’ tragic discovery of the so-called New World.”
“We who enjoy the great benefits of Italian blood, must also share the blame for the bloodshed sparked by that misguided Italian,” she said. “The voyage of Columbus lead to the foundation of the greatest oppressor nation the world has ever seen, and eventually to the egregious election of George W. Bush, who started the illegal war in Iraq. We owe the planet an apology.”
The Speaker said she will introduce legislation this week creating a new tax on “pasta, pizza and certain sausages with the revenue going to pay reparations to the indigenous people of this formerly magnificent land.”
I Pledge Allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for
which it stands,
one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
The Second Amendment:
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
I do solemnly swear that I will
support and defend the Constitution of the United States
against all enemies, foreign and domestic;
that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same ...
~ Title 10, US Code ~
Let us pray...
Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" ! ...Benjamin Franklin
"Don't let anybody tell you that, you know, it's corporations and businesses that create jobs." ! ...Hitlery Klinton
"Give whites a pile of bricks and they'll make a city, give blacks a city and they'll make a pile of bricks"
Teach someone how to fish, and you lose a Democrat voter !
Never try to teach a liberal to think, It wastes your time and annoys the liberal !
Liberalism is a sick religion based solely on emotion and feelgoodism and wiping away their perceived guilt with other peoples money. It has never been based in thought and common sense !
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure.”... Clarence Darrow !
"We have to spend money to keep from going bankrupt" ...Joe Biden !
"We tax everything that moves and doesn’t move".... Hitlery Klinton !
"I do think there are certain times we should infringe on your freedom" ! .... Michael Bloomberg
"I never drink water because fish fuck in it".... W.C.Fields !
"Life's tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid...."
John Wayne !
"we are truly being governed by our inferiors, and in some cases criminals" ...Plato !
"Sure We Can Kill ISIS, But We’re Not Going To Get Suckered Into That ...John Kerry !
"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do".... !
"God have mercy on my enemies because I won't." ... George S. Patton !
"There is no worse foolishness than the truth in the mouth of a fool"... Don Colacho !
"If you take out the killings, Washington D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." ... Marion Barry