A cowboy from Texas attends a social function that Hillary Clinton is also attending, trying gather more support for her nomination. Once she discovers the cowboy is a Republican, she starts to belittle him by talking in a southern drawl and single syllable words. As she was doing that, she kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around her head. The cowboy says, "Y'all havin' some problem with them circle flies?" She stopped talking and said, "Well yes, if that's what they're called. But I've never heard of circle flies." "Well ma'am," the cowboy replies, "circle flies hang around ranches. They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse." "Oh," Hillary replies as she goes back to rambling. But, a moment later she stops and bluntly asks, "Are you calling me a horse's ass?" "No, ma'am," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for citizens of New York to call their Senator a horse's ass." "That's a good thing," she responds and begins rambling on once more. After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl says, "Hard to fool them flies though." -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Political Correctness" is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
I Like This One
4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
5. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
6. She is not a "TWO-BIT Whore" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
A young lesbian goes to her gynecologist for her yearly pelvic examination. She puts on the paper gown and awaits him to come into the exam room. He instructs her to get up onto the table and place her feet in the stirrups.
As he is examining her she hears him saying "mmmm... mmmhmmm". He completes the examination, instructs her to dress and then meet him in his office when she is done.
In his office she asks him if there was anything unusual that he observed during the exam because she could not help but hear his non-verbal comments.
"Oh, that" he says." I was just admiring you. You have the cleanest vaginal area that I have ever seen in all my years of practice."
The young woman proudly smiled and replied, "Why thank you! I have a woman come in twice a week and clean it!"
“Where is the G-damn f**king flag? I want the G-damn f**king flag up every f**king morning at f**king sunrise.” (From the book “Inside The White House” by Ronald Kessler, p. 244 - Hillary to the staff at the Arkansas Governor’s mansion on Labor Day, 1991) “You sold out, you mother f**ker! You sold out!” - From the book “Inside” by Joseph Califano, p. 213 - Hillary yelling at Democrat lawyer.
“It’s been said, and I think it’s accurate, that my husband was obsessed by terrorism in general and al-qaida in particular.” (Hillary telling a post-9/11 world what a ‘great’ commander in chief her husband was; Dateline, NBC 4/16/2004.)
“I have to admit that a good deal of what my husband and I have learned [about Islam] has come from our daughter.” - (TruthInMedia.org 8/8/1999 - Hillary at a White House function, proudly tells some Muslim groups she is gaining a greater appreciation of Islam because Chelsea was then taking a class on the “religion of peace”)
“F**k off! It’s enough that I have to see you shit-kickers every day, I’m not going to talk to you too!! Just do your G*damn job and keep your mouth shut.” - (From the book “American Evita” by Christopher Anderson, p. 90 - Hillary to her State Trooper bodyguards after one of them greeted her with “Good morning.”
“You f**king idiot.” (From the book “Crossfire” p. 84 - Hillary to a State Trooper who was driving her to an event.)
“If you want to remain on this detail, get your f**king ass over here and grab those bags!” - (From the book “The First Partner” p. 259 - Hillary to a Secret Service Agent who was reluctant to carry her luggage because he wanted to keep his hands free in case of an incident.)
“Get f**ked! Get the f**k out of my way!!! Get out of my face!!!” - (From the book “Hillary’s Scheme” p. 89 - Hillary’s various comments to her Secret Service detail agents.)
“Stay the f**k back, stay the f**k away from me! Don’t come within ten yards of me, or else! Just f**king do as I say, Okay!!!?” - (From the book “Unlimited Access”, by Clinton FBI Agent in Charge, Gary Aldrige, p. 139 - Hillary screaming at her Secret Service detail.)
“Why do I have to keep proving to people that I am not a liar?!” - (From the book “The Survivor,” by John Harris, p. 382 - Hillary in her 2000 Senate campaign)
“Where’s the miserable c*ck sucker?” - (From the book “The Truth About Hillary” by Edward Klein, p. 5 - Hillary shouting at a Secret Service officer)
“Put this F****r on the ground! I left my sunglasses in the limo. I need those sunglasses. We need to go back!” - (From the book “Dereliction of Duty” p. 71-72 - Hillary to Marine One helicopter pilot to turn back while en route to Air Force One.)
“He is a real Son of a Bitch.” - (From the book “American Evita” by Christopher Anderson, p. 259 - Hillary’s opinion of President George W. Bush when she found out he secretly visited Iraq just days before her highly publicized trip to Iraq)
“What are you doing inviting these people into my home? These people are our enemies! They are trying to destroy us!” - (From the book “The Survivor” by John Harris, p. 99 - Hillary screaming to an aide, when she found out that some Republicans had been invited to the Clinton White House)
“I mean, you’ve got a conservative and right-wing press presence with really nothing on the other end of the political spectrum.” - (C-Span, 1/19/1997 - Hillary complains about the mainstream media, which are all conservatives in her opinion)
“Come on Bill, put your dick away! You can’t f**k her here!!” - (From the book “Inside The White House” by Ronald Kessler, p. 243 - Hillary to Gov. Clinton when she spots him talking with an attractive female at an Arkansas political rally)
“You know, I’m going to start thanking the woman who cleans the restroom in the building I work in. I’m going to start thinking of her as a human being” - Hillary Clinton (From the book “The Case Against Hillary Clinton” by Peggy Noonan, p. 55)
“You show people what you’re willing to fight for when you fight your friends.” - (From the book “The Agenda” by Bob Woodward, ch. 14)
“The only way to make a difference is to acquire power - lots of power - and then use it to destroy your enemies” - (From the book “I’ve Always Been A Yankee Fan” by Thomas D. Kuiper, p. 68 - Hillary to a friend before starting law school.)
“We just can’t trust the American people to make those types of tough choices.... Government has to make those choices for people” - (From the book “I’ve Always Been A Yankee Fan” by Thomas D. Kuiper, p. 20 - Hillary to Rep. Dennis Hastert in 1993 discussing her expensive, disastrous taxpayer-funded health care plan)
“I am a fan of the social policies that you find in Europe “ - Hillary in 1996” From the book “I’ve Always Been A Yankee Fan” by Thomas D. Kuiper, p. 76 - Hillary in 1996)
“Many of you are well enough off that [President Bush’s] tax cuts may have helped you. We’re saying that for America to get back on track, we’re probably going to cut that short and not give it to you. We’re going to have to take things away from you on behalf of the common good.” - (Hillary grandstanding at a fund raising speech in San Francisco; SFGate.com 6/28/2004.)
A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor’s dog barking. It had been barking for hours and hours. Suddenly the blonde jumps up out of bed and says ‘I’ve had enough of this’, and off she goes downstairs. She finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, ‘The dog is still barking. What have you been doing?’ The blonde says ‘I’ve put the dog in our yard. Now we’ll see how THEY like it!’
WARSAW (Reuters) - A Polish man got the shock of his life when he visited a brothel and spotted his wife among the establishment's employees. Polish tabloid Super Express said the woman had been making some extra money on the side while telling her husband she worked at a store in a nearby town.
"I was dumfounded. I thought I was dreaming," the husband told the newspaper Wednesday.
The couple, married for 14 years, are now divorcing, the newspaper reported.
“They (the Iranians) were very provocative and it was a dangerous gesture on their part. … And they know our position, and that is: There will be serious consequences if they attack our ships, pure and simple. And my advice to them is don’t do it.” George W. Bush
I Pledge Allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for
which it stands,
one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
War was declared on the United States of America 8,617 days, 54 minutes and 42 seconds ago. NEVER FORGET!
The Second Amendment:
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
I do solemnly swear that I will
support and defend the Constitution of the United States
against all enemies, foreign and domestic;
that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same ...
~ Title 10, US Code ~
Let us pray...
Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" ! ...Benjamin Franklin
"Don't let anybody tell you that, you know, it's corporations and businesses that create jobs." ! ...Hitlery Klinton
"Give whites a pile of bricks and they'll make a city, give blacks a city and they'll make a pile of bricks"
Teach someone how to fish, and you lose a Democrat voter !
Never try to teach a liberal to think, It wastes your time and annoys the liberal !
Liberalism is a sick religion based solely on emotion and feelgoodism and wiping away their perceived guilt with other peoples money. It has never been based in thought and common sense !
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure.”... Clarence Darrow !
"We have to spend money to keep from going bankrupt" ...Joe Biden !
"We tax everything that moves and doesn’t move".... Hitlery Klinton !
"I do think there are certain times we should infringe on your freedom" ! .... Michael Bloomberg
"I never drink water because fish fuck in it".... W.C.Fields !
"Life's tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid...."
John Wayne !
"we are truly being governed by our inferiors, and in some cases criminals" ...Plato !
"Sure We Can Kill ISIS, But We’re Not Going To Get Suckered Into That ...John Kerry !
"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do".... !
"God have mercy on my enemies because I won't." ... George S. Patton !
!
"There is no worse foolishness than the truth in the mouth of a fool"... Don Colacho !
!
"If you take out the killings, Washington D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." ... Marion Barry
!
“When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.” ... Sir Winston Churchill !
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