A lot of life's problems can be explained by the U.S. Military and its applications of common sense ...
1. "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography." (Paul Rodriguez)
2. "A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." (Army's magazine of preventive maintenance ).
3. "Aim towards the Enemy." (Instruction printed on US M79 Rocket Launcher)
4. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend. (U.S. Marine Corps)
5. Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground. (U.S. Air Force)
6. If the enemy is in range, so are you. (Infantry Journal)
7. It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed. (US Air Force Manual)
8. Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons. (Gen. MacArthur)
9. Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo. (Infantry Journal)
10. You, you, and you . . . Panic. The rest of you, come with me. (Marine Gunnery Sergeant)
11. Tracers work both ways. (US Army Ordnance)
12. Five second fuses only last three seconds. (Infantry Journal)
13. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything. (US Navy Seaman)
14. Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid. (David Hackworth)
15. If your attack is going too well, you have walked into an ambush. (Infantry Journal)
16. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection. (Joe Gay)
17. Any ship can be a minesweeper... once. (Admiral Hornblower)
18. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. (Unknown Marine Recruit)
19. Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you. (Your Buddies)
20. Mines are equal opportunity weapons. (Army Platoon Sergeant)
21. If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly. (David Hackworth)
22. Your job is to kill the other person before they kill you so that your national leaders can negotiate a peace that will last as long as it takes the ink to dry. (Drill Instructor)
23. In the Navy, the Chief is always right. (Written on the door into the Chiefs quarters)
Men Beware! Don't fall prey to this brutal crime !
Men, be careful. Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it. This will only become more commonplace as the older men travel south. A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Lowe's, Home Depot, Sam's or Costco customers. This one caught me by surprise.
Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.
Here's how the scam works:
Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to McDonalds. You agree and they get into the back seat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.
I had my wallet stolen Oct 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also Nov 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th & 28th, three times last Monday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.
So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.
Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each.. I found cheaper ones for $1.99 at K-Mart and bought them out. Also, you never will get to eat at McDonalds. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth to Lowe's, Home Depot, Sam's and Costco.
A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher says, "Okay, but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.
The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"
The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......
With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....
I Pledge Allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for
which it stands,
one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
War was declared on the United States of America 8,617 days, 8 hours, 24 minutes and 35 seconds ago. NEVER FORGET!
The Second Amendment:
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
I do solemnly swear that I will
support and defend the Constitution of the United States
against all enemies, foreign and domestic;
that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same ...
~ Title 10, US Code ~
Let us pray...
Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" ! ...Benjamin Franklin
"Don't let anybody tell you that, you know, it's corporations and businesses that create jobs." ! ...Hitlery Klinton
"Give whites a pile of bricks and they'll make a city, give blacks a city and they'll make a pile of bricks"
Teach someone how to fish, and you lose a Democrat voter !
Never try to teach a liberal to think, It wastes your time and annoys the liberal !
Liberalism is a sick religion based solely on emotion and feelgoodism and wiping away their perceived guilt with other peoples money. It has never been based in thought and common sense !
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure.”... Clarence Darrow !
"We have to spend money to keep from going bankrupt" ...Joe Biden !
"We tax everything that moves and doesn’t move".... Hitlery Klinton !
"I do think there are certain times we should infringe on your freedom" ! .... Michael Bloomberg
"I never drink water because fish fuck in it".... W.C.Fields !
"Life's tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid...."
John Wayne !
"we are truly being governed by our inferiors, and in some cases criminals" ...Plato !
"Sure We Can Kill ISIS, But We’re Not Going To Get Suckered Into That ...John Kerry !
"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do".... !
"God have mercy on my enemies because I won't." ... George S. Patton !
!
"There is no worse foolishness than the truth in the mouth of a fool"... Don Colacho !
!
"If you take out the killings, Washington D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." ... Marion Barry
!
“When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.” ... Sir Winston Churchill !
.png)
