How profoundly America has changed since January 2009. I was pondering this the other night during the State of the Union address. Did you know that our elite military units like the Navy SEALs are now examples of America at its absolute finest? Why, wasn’t it just a few years ago that Sen. Dick Durbin was comparing these very same troops to the Khmer Rouge and Joe Stalin’s Red Army? What used to be Dick Cheney’s hit squad is now a beacon of freedom. But now of course the president is a Democrat. When Durbin spoke a Republican resided in the White House. Remember when Theo Epstein snubbed Republican George W. Bush when the rest of the Red Sox [team stats] went to the White House after the 2007 World Series? Nobody said boo. Now Bruins [team stats] goalie Tim Thomas [stats] does the same thing to our PC president and — hey, somebody get a rope! Since January 2009, natural disasters are no longer the personal fault of the president. Now that Obama is president, Gen. “Betrayus” is once again Gen. Petraeus, the greatest American military genius since MacArthur, no make that U.S. Grant. George W. Bush played 30 rounds of golf in eight years and it was dereliction of duty. Obama’s played 80 in three years and it’s a well-deserved rest from his terrible burden of world leadership. On Jan. 20, 2009, all the homeless people went home. Inflation ended that same day. No longer do dying Americans have to travel to Canada to buy affordable prescription drugs. The Tea Party — violent rhetoric. Occupy Wall Street and the publicly defecating hippies — in the finest tradition of our Founding Fathers. Bush mispronounces nuclear — idiot. Obama butchers corpsman — misspoke. Raising the debt ceiling under Bush — the worst kind of fiscal irresponsibility. Raising the debt ceiling under Obama — a valiant effort by our young president to save the world economy. McDonald’s jobs under Bush — “burger flipping.” McDonald’s jobs under Obama — entry-level jobs with one of America’s noblest public corporations. Unemployment rate of 4.5 percent under Bush — “jobless recovery.” Unemployment rate of 8.5 percent under Obama — the new normal. The Patriot Act under Bush — incipient fascism. The Patriot Act under Obama — yawn. Words and phrases you haven’t heard since January 2009: “no blood for oil ... Cindy Sheehan ... not one more dime ... quagmire ... atrocities ... candlelight vigils ... not on our watch ... waterboarding ... Abu Ghraib...
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